Are you a parent of a "Basement Dweller?" An adult child who seems to be comfortable just chillin' in your basement with no plans or motivation for the future? If so, join us and other parents of Basement Dwellers to learn a parenting plan to encourage your adult child out of your basement and into independent living. We know the difficulty that can arise when pushing your adult child into independent living when he/she is not "ready." For this reason, we'll discuss ways to address housekeeping, budgeting, cooking, laundry and all the other independent living skills for your young adult child to move out and establish independent living.

Instructor

Randy Floyd, LSCSW, Founder, Clinical Level Therapist

Randy is the founder of Midwest Anxiety. He is a Licensed Specialist Clinical Social Worker who is an optimist and passionate about helping people focus on what they can do rather than what they can't do. Randy believes building a strong therapeutic relationship and tapping into a person's strengths are the most essential components of the therapeutic experience. Randy is passionate about changing the way we do mental health. He is focused on making mental health normal, a positive experience. He is also adamant about doing mental health differently. Randy believes the "old ways" suggest mental health is for the "broken" or "mentally ill." Randy believes that "Everyone Struggles." Sure. Some people struggle more than others, but everyone struggles with something. With this belief, Randy is focused on providing a wide range of programs and services to help people be mentally well ;) Go give Randy a fist bump on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube.

Class Recording

WHY BASEMENT DWELLERS?

Take a couple minutes to tell us:

  1. A short description of your adult child living with you.

  2. What are your current parenting struggles with your adult child?

  3. What do you hope to get out of the class?

What Do You Want For Your Adult Child?

  1. Do you want your adult child to move out of your home at some point? Or are you okay with your adult child living with you forever?

  2. While your adult child is living with you, does your adult child need to meet certain expectations? School, work, chores, etc?

Your parenting style?

Let’s look at your parenting style. Do you……

  1. Make accommodations for your adult child?

  2. Reassure your adult child?

  3. Help your adult child avoid difficult situations?

Three reasons why Your Anxious Adult Child is living with you

  1. Your child does not have the skills to work through struggles.

  2. Your child has low motivation/distress tolerance.

  3. Your parenting style has prevented your child from being self reliant. (i.e. you accommodate, reassure, and help avoid anxiety)

Skill Building through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

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  1. Thoughts

    1. Zone into the threat, thoughts become negative.

    2. Difficult to focus on other things other than anxious situation.

  2. Feelings

    1. Experience various physiological sensations such as heart palpitations, sweating, headaches, etc.

  3. Behaviors

    1. Fight, Flight, or Freeze.

    2. Generally need reassurance, accommodations, or avoidance.

Two things have to happen for you to become less anxious: Be UNCOMFORTABLE and UNCERTAIN.

Why the Plan?

  1. Teaches your child natural consequences.

  2. If motivation is low, plan will help to increase motivation.

  3. Will create structure in your house and give you the parental control.

THE PLAN

Make a written agreement very similar to a Lease Agreement. These items are in the agreement to help your child improve self sufficiency rather than be a policing agent. If your adult child doesn’t like agreement, you can tell your child he/she doesn’t have to agree to it and find own place to live.

  1. Length of the agreement. You will review and revise contract after expiration.

  2. Financial obligations. Yes. Your adult child should pay to live with you ;) Make rent lower amount than renting a studio/1 bedroom apartment. It is to your adult child’s financial advantage to comply with contract. Adult child can pay with money or “credits” Your child earns credits for certain things he/she does around house, goes to school, gets certain grades, homework, etc. You designate credits and their value.

  3. Life Duties. Work, go to school, chores, shop for own groceries, maintain clean room, do own laundry.

  4. Reasons for eviction. Not maintaining financial obligation, life duties, drugs, missing curfew. IF YOU WRITE EVICTION INTO THE AGREEMENT, YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT. IF YOU DON’T YOU ARE REINFORCING THE CYCLE.

What's NExt?

  1. Nothing. Just let it ride and see how it goes ;)

  2. Take some more classes.

  3. Need more help than just a class? Try Individual Therapy.

  4. Stay connected with us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube.

QUESTIONS?

Limits and Restrictions:

The materials distributed are provided with the understanding that the author and presenters are not engaged in rendering professional services. This is a psychoeducational class and information in the presentations or group discussions by the presenters, facilitators, or participants should not be considered to be medical, psychological, legal, financial, or spiritual counsel. The presentations and written materials are not intended to provide medical, psychological, legal, financial, or spiritual services or counseling. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Any opinions, finding, recommendations or conclusions expressed by the author(s) or speaker(s) do not necessarily reflect the views of Midwest Anxiety, LLC.